My Inner Therapy

Well the title of my blog says a lot. This weekend has been hard for me. A few things have really hit home. Well Hit Heart. I took most of the day yesterday trying to figure out where I went went wrong. Why I seem to get the same reactions from the ones that I love. Why each of them in there own way seems to know the exact way to hurt me. To burn me so bad that running away seems to be the only option.

Today, I tried a different approach. All day I have been trying to convince myself that the things I am feeling have to do with my perception on these different situations. That could be very true. But why and when did it become OK to hide behind the Phrase "You should not have expectations". That they feel that it is OK to ignore my obvious pleas for the smallest bit of attention. And not because they feel obligated.

All day today I have been writing the deep things I have been feeling. Those who know me, know that I am a very happy person, THIS IS TRUE. I cannot sit here and pretend that I am always plagued by deep and Dark (to some) emotions all the time. Because honestly I have been coping with them for such a long time that they only start nagging at me when I have been wounded in some way.

So please..... This is not a cry for help....This is not some WOE is me blog.... This will be purely about me, my life, my world, and the people and relationships that mean the most to me. This is about trying to figure out how to LIVE, truly LIVE in peace with myself and be at peace with the things and people I cannot change. If you cannot handle this kind of honesty, turn around and move on.